Tips for a Blessed Solo ‘Eid
We asked you, the readers, to share with us some tips on having a blessed […]
We asked you, the readers, to share with us some tips on having a blessed solo ‘Eid.
These last 10 nights of Ramadan, we have been sharing some of these tips on enjoying ‘Eid al Fitr as a single woman, divorced or widowed, or not yet married at all.
Here are just a few of the bits of advice you had for your sisters.
(Note: In case you missed the tips, make sure you are following us on our Facebook page, as well as Instagram @my_iddah & Twitter @MyIddah.)
Tip #2: Be Proactive! Make Plans. Don’t wait on anyone else to plan your ‘Eid for you.
Many of us find ‘Eid a challenge every year, single or not. Things are especially hard for those of us who live in areas lacking other Muslims, or those of us who are converts and lack the support of a Muslim family structure. However, we cannot simply lie down and give up! ‘Eid is Allah’s gift to you. You must make the most of it, and it’s your right and responsibility to enjoy this blessed time in whatever way you choose, assuming of course that it’s halaal.
Tip #4: Treat Yourself
Na’ima B. Robert says, “Be kind to yourself…Do something nice for yourself: buy yourself a gift, have a bubble bath, invite a few wonderful friends over, tidy up, light candles, cook a lovely meal and talk about all you have to be grateful for and all that you hope to achieve in the coming year. If you have children, create something beautiful with them: a piece of artwork, a group poem, a funny video. Say no to housework for the day and veg out with the kids, play with them, watch something funny, have a treasure hunt, a midnight feast. Then put them to bed and curl up with a lovely bar of chocolate and a good book.”
“Focus on YOU” Nazneen S. says, “because if you feel even a little bit better, your whole attitude changes positively and the people around you (especially any children) react to that too. I learnt the hard way that I need to make myself happy/calm first, so that i can then make the kiddies happy and calm. If not, buy yourself some nice presents, indulge in a good book, watch a movie/start a series, order a takeout. Do whatever it takes to make you feel better.”
Tip #5: Arrange not to be alone
Umm Yusha tells us, “Don’t be alone. .. invite other widows that are able to come out. Invite elderly and reverts…. anyone else that might be alone…It sounds too painful to spend any happy occasion alone.”
Zeinab S. said she “used to invite friends in similar circumstances as me (single mothers)- we used to share breakfast after Eid salah and afterward together we would take the kids out together. One need not be alone – one can create a family from those around us. Make friends with sisters in the same boat and create memories for your kids.”
Tip #6: Embrace the Solitude
“I found changing my mindset really helped… Instead of thinking of what I was missing, I focused on the blessings of being alone…” Kate from Healthy Muslimah says. “Instead of feeling lonely, I looked at the time alone as a beautiful tranquil time for self-reflection. While others were busy tending families…, I had the opportunity to sit quietly with Quran, to make dua, to eat a simple meal… I had time, I had a quiet and peaceful environment. Looking at the benefits and how I could use them to move closer to Allah made all the difference to me.”
Tip #7: Create New Traditions! Do something new and exciting!
“The majority of my eids have been alone, even now with my husband, also a revert, and… 3 children, we have to be inventive.” Amy H. tells us. “Trips to aquariums, interactive science center etc. have been great. The best eids I’ve had though were ones where we played with the children in the park, where we laughed and smiled. The other was where we took our canoe up the river in our local national park. We landed on a sand bar, had a picnic, just in the middle of Allah’s creation.”
Tip #8: Attend the ‘Eid Salat
“In the 4 1/2 years that I was divorced, I spent every single Eid on my own. My ex used to take the kids away with him and never allowed them to spend the Eid with me…” Ayesha L. tells us. “Until one day I decided enough was enough; I pushed myself out of the house and attended the Eid prayer. I stayed in the masjid a little while longer after the prayer just to give salam to my sisters. Alhamdulillah even if it was only for a hour or so I was in the company of my sisters.”
Tip #9: Be Grateful. Gratitude is the root of happiness.
“I’m not sure if Eid with my 3 children can be considered being alone? Last year after Eid prayers we went to the cinema, followed by a nice meal out and desserts after. The next day I surprised my kids by driving up to Birmingham, we stayed in a hotel and visited Cadburys world. Ate out again and did some abaya shopping! We had an amazing time and more fun than many of my married friends!” Umm Layla says.
Aisha F. says “…Now I have 6 children. My husband is not here in the UK with us, so I normally spend the Eid day with my sons and daughters alhamdulillah. Here in Leicester, after Eid prayer, in the masjid, there are cakes and tea and sometimes a bouncy castle for kids. We spend a couple of hours in the masjid, then we come home. Sometimes I prepare food, sometimes we go to the restaurant, or to eat an Italian ‘gelato’ (ice cream), alhamdulillah, for me to be with my children is not ‘to be alone.”
So whether you’re spending this ‘Eid alone, with your kids, with family, friends, or even your new husband, enjoy it til the last drop!
‘Eid Mubarak from our hearts to yours!
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